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area51newmexico
Joined: 26 Nov 2005 Posts: 40 Location: Yorkshire, England
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Posted: Thu Feb 09, 2006 10:47 pm Post subject: Jokes to Offend Everyone |
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A Chinese couple is in bed. The husband says I want 69. His wife says
"why you want Beef and Broccoli now?"
A Polish family is sitting in the living room. The wife turns to
The husband and says "Let's send the kids out to P-L-A-Y so we can fuck.
How can you tell the Irish guy in the hospital? He's the one
blowing the foam off of his bedpan.
How can you tell if a girl is a redneck? She can suck a dick and
Chew tobacco at the same time, and know what to spit and what to
swallow.
Why don't Italians have acne?
It slides off.
Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a black baby?
They named him Sum Ting Wong
What's the best thing about a blowjob?
10 minutes of peace and quiet.
Did you hear they came out with a new Selena doll?
Ken and Barbie needed a maid.
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horses ass?
A Mechanic.
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than
The other?
A Speech Impediment.
What do you call a German tampon?
A Twatstika.
Definition of a nice Greek Boy....
A Greek boy who takes a girl out twice before screwing her brother.
What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half mast?
They're hiring.
What do toilets, clitoris, and an anniversary have in common?
Men miss them all.
Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek?
Because they're not going to work in the future either.
Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
He walks around saying "Yo"
Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.
How many cops does it take to push a black man down the stairs?
NONE- He fell
Q. Why do men like to watch porno movies backward?
A. They like the part where the hooker gives the money back.
Q. Why do women pierce their bellybutton?
A. Place to hang their air freshener.
Q. What is the first thing a blonde hears in the morning?
A. "See ya."
Q. What is the first thing a brunette hears in the morning?
A. "Sssshh. I have to call my wife."
Q. Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided?
A. The survivors were marooned.
Q: What do Jimmy Hoffa and Linda Tripp have in common?
A: Nothing... yet.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts?
Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any
What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.
What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs
What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes
What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.
Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.
Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe".
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
Why is there no Disneyland in China ?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides
[/b] _________________ Helen, Webmistess of
www.area51newmexico.com |
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deed rape Team Killing Fucktard
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 229 Location: North Carolina
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Posted: Fri Feb 10, 2006 3:03 pm Post subject: |
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What do you call a black guy in a three piece suit?
The Defendant
What do you say to a black guy in a three piece suit?
"Will the defendant please rise." _________________ This message was brought to you by:
xIJ33clIz4p3x
(Deed Rape)
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Maniac1075 Pro Wanka
Joined: 10 Jul 2005 Posts: 1558 Location: Hellbourne
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VLRGA The Little Sister Maniac Never Wanted
Joined: 10 Jul 2005 Posts: 487 Location: Pennsylvania, USA
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Posted: Fri Feb 10, 2006 9:30 pm Post subject: |
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Ha ha, he actually makes a pretty good woman.
I've probably told this before, but: Why did the pervert cross the road? His "organ" was stuck in the chicken! |
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Maniac1075 Pro Wanka
Joined: 10 Jul 2005 Posts: 1558 Location: Hellbourne
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VLRGA The Little Sister Maniac Never Wanted
Joined: 10 Jul 2005 Posts: 487 Location: Pennsylvania, USA
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Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2006 12:13 am Post subject: |
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How do you know what "organ" I was talking about? Maybe the perv stuck a removed kidney into the chicken. Maybe (God forbid) he molested the poor chicken with a real organ (that you see blowing out the tunes in churches), for all you know! |
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deed rape Team Killing Fucktard
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 229 Location: North Carolina
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Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2006 4:20 pm Post subject: |
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A jew man and a Chinease woman have a kid. The jew wants a jewish name for the kid while the Chinease woman wants a traditional Chinease name for the kid. After a while arguing it over they settle on the name "Cha Ching." _________________ This message was brought to you by:
xIJ33clIz4p3x
(Deed Rape)
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Maniac1075 Pro Wanka
Joined: 10 Jul 2005 Posts: 1558 Location: Hellbourne
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deed rape Team Killing Fucktard
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 229 Location: North Carolina
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Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2006 10:25 am Post subject: |
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Q: What's the difference between a Yankee and a Damn Yankee?
A: A Yankee comes down to The South then goes home while a Damn Yankee comes to The South and doesn't leave. _________________ This message was brought to you by:
xIJ33clIz4p3x
(Deed Rape)
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shelley72
Joined: 24 Jul 2006 Posts: 12
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Posted: Mon Jul 24, 2006 5:42 pm Post subject: |
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What has 60 legs and no pubes???
Front row of a Backstreet Boys gig...
What do thrush and women have in common...
They are both irritating C***s
Shell _________________ Cunty Bollocks.... |
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Maniac1075 Pro Wanka
Joined: 10 Jul 2005 Posts: 1558 Location: Hellbourne
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