maniac1075

[Maniac1075]

HO HO FUCKING HO

Hey Santa claus you cunt! where's me fuckin' bike?
I've unwrapped all this other junk and there's nothing that I like.
I wrote you a fucking letter and I come to see you twice
Ya worn out geriatric fart, you forgot me fucking bike.
If I wanted a pair of bloody thongs, I'd have bloody asked
And this cowboy suit and ping pong set you can shove right up your arse!
You've stuffed me bloody order up
It's enough to make you spew
And I'm not the only one who's snakey
Me sisters dirty too!

(female voice)
Hey santa clause you cunt!
Where's me fucking pram?
You promised me you'd bring me one, you remember who I am.
'Cause I'm the little girl who you made sit right on your hand
I'll give you fucking ho ho ho
You forgot me fucking pram

(male voice)
Next time I come to see ya, I'm gonna punch you in the guts
And I'll let your fucking reihndeer go and kick Rudolf in the nuts!
You just wait 'till next year, when you go to that store
And me and me little sister, come stomping through the door
And we'll say, yeah you wait for it

Hey mums and dads, just smell his breath and check his bloodshot eyes
And don't listen to him boys and girls 'cause he tells fucking lies
He's just a piss tank and a pervert, and he's not even very bright
'Cause the old fucking wanker Forgot me fucking bike.
You wait you old cunt, I'm gonna dob you in
Tell me old man on you, he's gonna punch your fucking lights out

"I saw mummy sucking santa clause" .

"Santa Clause" - Kevin Bloody Wilson

"Santa was stoned for christmas, how'd he get that high
and whats he feeding them reindeers, that makes the bastards fly"


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[Maniac1075]

Mom made beans for dinner
you know i ate em all
said come get your coat on
goin to the mall gona visit santa
and sit apon his knee
but all that I could think about
was how not to cut the cheese
waiting there for santa
thought that id explode
the gas bubble grew bigger
with every ho ho ho
try my best to hide that I was doing swell
but when I sat down on santas lap he hollard whats that smell !

~chorus~
I farted on santas lap
now Christmas is gonna stink for me
I farted on santas lap
now ill get *FART* under my Christmas tree

I asked him for a baseball
I asked him for a bat
I asked him for some ice skates
but I'll get none of that
I asked him for a lot of things
I'll have to do with out
when i sat down on santas lap
I let one slip out

~chorus~
On Christmas eve I snuck out
of my bed with out a sound
went down to the living room to take a look around
and then I saw santanext to the Christmas tree
his arms were full of preasents and they were all for me
put them in a pile got up to turn around
then blew a fart with such great force our tree all most
so I'll always charish that speacial moment when
I realized even old saint nick rips one now and then
~chorus~

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[Maniac1075]

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[Maniac1075]

on the first day of christmas my true love gave to me
a bong in a marjuwana tree
on the second day of christmas my true love sent to me
2 guys to buy my bong in a marajuwana tree
on the 3rd day of christmas my truelove sent to me
3 more cones & a bong in a marajuwana tree
on the 4th day of christmas my true love sent to me
4 coppers to see if i had a bong in a marajuwana tree
on the 5th day of christmas my true love gave the cops
my 5 golden bongs
4 used cones, 3 roled joints and the bong in a marajuwana tree
on the 6th day of christmas the bitch told the cops about the bongs in the marjuana trees
so i fled out the country
on the 7th day of christmas i was in anouther state
so i delt some bongs in marajuwana trees to me new mates
on the 8th day of christmas my true love found me
so i gave her a bong in a marajuwana tree
on the 9th day of christmas my true love told me
she was a cop shes no longer living
on the 10th day of christmas the cops were again on to me
so i yet again fled that cuntry
on the 11th day od christmas they found my true love
deliveed pacel post, with 3 dead hens 2 turtle dovesand a bong stuck up her gum tree
on the 12th day of christmas we desided this buisness wasnt for me
so me and santa r dealing speed

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[VLRGA]

http://www.comeallyefaithful.co.uk

This is pretty funny!