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Pro Wanka

Joined: 10 Jul 2005
Posts: 1558
Location: Hellbourne

PostPosted: Sun Jan 03, 2010 8:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

aka: takafuckinbathayousmellyacuntasouraus-rex

This is the only known footage of UglyFatBitch actually happy and smiling and not depressing everyone and everything else around her.

This bitch would have to be the ugliest mother fucker walking the planet. A woman so hideously ugly that dildos go limp inside of her. Someone who dresses in curtains, has hair that looks like the burger kings crown, topped off in dandruff and god knows what that shit was snowing out of her watermelon sized head, and her cunt smells worse then a million pounds of dead fish left in boiling hot conditions in a sweaty gymnasium used sock waste disposal unit.....AND NOOOO, I did not fuck her... she was on a bed sleeping and i had to walk past to get to my suitcase and OH GOD, THE SMELLLL Sad it was FUCKING HORRIBLE. I had to hold my breath the whole time. If you placed a canary in the room with her it would fucking die.... not sure from dieing from the smell of her fumes, or holding its own breath, but it guaranteed its dead after 5 mins.

I met this bitch through a friend. First time i saw this thing on cam I was like "WHOOF" but man, when you see her in real life, BLURGHHHHHHHHHHHH, they say the camera adds 10 pounds.... i dunno how she did it, but the camera made her look better, but im fucked if i know how it got her whole head in frame.

Now, being that fucking hideous. You don't get laid a lot. So when I was meeting up with a friend, this bitch was to be there too. And the plan was to go away for a week to relax..... should sex happen, then it happened.... nothing was guaranteed .... but this hideous beast that Frankinsteins monster would have whimpered away from doesnt like not getting her own way. She wanted to WATCH if we had sex, and I told her straight out, NO. She didnt like not being able to push me around like her boyfriend and get me to jump, sit and roll over when she demanded.

The past few days before going there, we had been trying to talk this bitch into going with is cause she needed to get away and holiday too... but this bitches problems were not what she had crapped on about. She was crapping on about her boyfriend being abusive, and saying he wanted kids while she was still sick, and he wouldnt go down on her...... BULLSHIT, BULLSHIT AND I DONT FUCKING BLAME HIM.

This bitch had decided the morning I got there to make up these bullshit rules for what she THOUGHT was happening, and when i got into the car, this bitch didnt even acknowledge I was there. And the trip back to my friends place, the conversations we did have, she learned she was not going to walk over me and she would get nothing out of going away with us. As she could not leave her boyfriend, as his inheritance is too much for her walk away from, that and the fact, who else would take her? And that her boyfriend said she wanted her to get better so they could have kids and was sick of waiting causes shes a fat slob who cant even get her own ass out of bed in the morning, who actually wants to stay that way cause she doesn't want to work, or lift a finger to help anybody else as its all about poor little ole UglyAussieBitch who craves attention 24/7.

This is a picture of UFB as a child. She is currently the same height, just grows outwards now. Including her repulsive hot air ballon shaped head.

The day I arrived the bitch and her boyfriend left when we got to my friends place to we could sleep, and later on the bitch comes back with my friends aunt having told her god knows what to make sure that ...
A) She didnt have to go away now cause no one would force her if no one is going.
B) There would be nothing in it for her to have gone as the disgusting little perverted bitch would be seeing nor getting anything.
C) Shed be embarrassed when she went for a swim at the beach and whales swam by singing "We are family"

That sort of thing tears UglyaussieBitch up because she knows she is hideous to look at. The fucking smell of her cunt when you walk into a room is enough to make you wanna puke that even her boyfriend cant cum for her, or go down on he. But yet, UAB is always crapping on about how great these fucks where she supposedly had recently as shes a swinger ect.... ummm.... yeah.... right..... 100 years ago maybe when your cunt didn't smell like something that if a guy stuck his dick in there it would melt off in the acid cesspool of the desease takafuckinbathayousmellyacuntasouraus-rex

but instead of being more hygienic, it's easier to make out people around you are prettier, get more attention, and are nicer, people want to know them, they have more friends...... WELL, yes they DO!!!!!!!!!!!! who the fuck would want to know a hideous rhino sized heartless cunt of a bitch who stabbed her best friend in the back out of her own jealousy and not getting her own way.

As UAB grew older and became more sexual, she made her intention clear to everyone. but unfortunately for her it didn't work, as no one would fuck her first, second, third or last date.... even prostitutes refused to take her money. She couldnt even get a dog to sniff, let alone eat a sausage planted on her asshole.

UAB is also a chronic liar, as she discovered a long time ago that making up bullshit to tell people might get you more attention then telling them about what a fat lazy little pathetic heartless psychotic loser you are. 4 witness on the first night I stayed at my friends place said I got drunk and accidentally hit the bitches boyfriend in the face (mostly just in the glasses) bu accident and one of those witnesses WAS her boyfriend. He said dont worry about it, it was an accident and everything was cool. Yet uglyaussiebitch probably still to this day talks about the time the evil Melbourne man got drunk and violently abused her boyfriend and she feared for his life..... guess she was just too petrified to ring the police huh??? Its always easy to make other believe what you want when they werent there.

Ya see, My friend would say to UAB, that I made her feel special, like a woman, like she was somebody.... and I guess UAB has never had anyone like that, and in the jealousy of it, she had fuck up everyone's relationship she could. But she can have the 1 and only person I lost a friendship out of that lie with.... Stayc.... but you know the funny thing about all this, Stayc was my friend and I's friend, then my friend introduced UAB to Stayc, and UAB wanted to steal that friend.... but get this... if your going to steal a friend, steal one with warranty for more then 2 years. So many dud versions are around these days that just arent built like they used to be. They expire so quickly these days, and the next thing ya know, your all alone again.

UAB also has tried to convince my friends own aunt that my friend is this evil, psycho bitch who steals money, identities, she abuses her boyfriend and kids and all this other bullshit... well, if anyone who believes any of that has half a brain, all they have to do is remember the time they have been around my friend... not what someone else tells them supposedly happened. However, what DID happen, was UAB chasing her boyfriend around with a knife trying to stab him.... so why is it dickheads can believe a bullshit artist isnt a bullshit artists, but when they go to stab there boyfriends and show there completely psycho, 2 and 2 dont come together? Because it takes a psycho to be friends with a psycho.

I wouldn't say I was ever friends with UAB, I just kept my mouth shut when she was my friends friend, even tried to help her out .... but that sort of thing doesnt mean jack shit to some people, as people like UAB just want everything for themselves, and if they cant have it, they have to destroy it.... but UAB is too fat and lazy to get up and destroy anything, so she has to do it all through gossip. and when you hear where and to who she has been gossiping to, you just are reminded how happy you are to not have that stinking bitch in your life anymore and that more and more people see what a nutjob she is every day while the the nutjob is oblivious to the grave she is digging for herself.

Sam must be a witch too.... cause like Stayc, they both look like they cast spells on people to make them ugly, but it came back 3 fold at them.... and man, did it hit UAB hard on the triple return!!!!


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The Little Sister Maniac Never Wanted

Joined: 10 Jul 2005
Posts: 487
Location: Pennsylvania, USA

PostPosted: Fri Feb 05, 2010 12:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow, I haven't read this board for 6 months or so. This thread was hilarious! Entertaining reading for my evening. Very Happy

How do you keep finding all these losers?

Oh, I know of one I'll mention: My friend had a boyfriend over the internet for (6+) years, and they were close and in love and all that. They were long distance, and over time, that started to take its toll, since neither wanted to move.

Anyway, in Fall/Winter 2008, his sister had him meet a co-worker's sister, supposedly to meet another friend (all this info was found out later on down the road by my friend, begging him for information through e-mails he hardly answered, more on that later), but they started dating! And in Spring 2009, he suddenly e-mailed her, saying they should break up, with no warning at all! She tried to ask him questions, he gave her little information, just how they met, first name, etc. (and he told her he was "torn between" them, ha). My friend tried begging him for answers over Yahoo messenger on cam, and the dumb pile of rocks was seen typing and such to the other girl!

Anyhow, he said (April/Mayish?) that "they will probably get married soon". All this while, when my friend calls him, he just tries to make things sexy and stuff (which could be seen as cheating on the girl back?) and at one point, my friend heard his little brother (apparently the little guy thought he was with only the new girl) ask who he was talking to, and he said, "nobody important, go to bed". My friend is trying to find out what he even told the girl (we think he just told her that he had an ex he talked to, and later stopped talking) about her, and she probably doesn't even know about this deep, long term relationship!

Anyhow, in early-mid June, he tells my friend that he's going on vacation with his family, and leaves my friend a message on MySpace on what we'd later find out was the morning of the wedding day! She figured he was gone for a week or so, and then as he doesn't get back, she e-mails, calls, and sent a mail letter that he had to sign for. Mid-late July comes, she gets an e-mail in her inbox saying "I got married June 11th (I think), I'll mail your stuff, here's my address if you need me, have a nice life." Yes, the "have a nice life" was in there! This after no messages or any contact for over a month. She forwarded it to me, and I was furious when I read it. And he has a new e-mail address, has his new living address, etc., so it was pretty much good-bye from there.

She was upset and had to have time to get over it, she's still not happy about this Valentine's Day coming up. A great relationship for the most part sent down burning in flames because of that loser, an epic catastrophe. I don't know if he was sneaky/nasty or just plain stupid; I've seen tortoises move quicker than he thinks (LOL!). All of her/our friends are not happy with that clown, but we at least have bad running jokes about him. I say he eats Elmer's Glue (cooked his Thanksgiving turkey with it, etc.), and her brother said if he gets the money, he'll go out there, and rip off Loser's head and use the rest of him as a toilet! (LOL) Twisted Evil I had to tell my dad what happened so he knew not to mention her boyfriend to her (I've known some people for a long time, so our families know each other), and he said she's better off and that Loser should be embarrassed for being such a moron.

That's pretty much the most outrageous story I have about anybody I've ever known.
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Pro Wanka

Joined: 10 Jul 2005
Posts: 1558
Location: Hellbourne

PostPosted: Sun Feb 07, 2010 3:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

mmm hmmm, he's a fuck-wit alright!


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Pro Wanka

Joined: 10 Jul 2005
Posts: 1558
Location: Hellbourne

PostPosted: Mon Dec 19, 2011 4:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Jeff The King Dick Of Fuckwit Poofter Faggot Dumb Cunts

Jeff is one of those irritating cockheads that you just can't get rid of, but wish he would fuck up enough to be told to get fucked by everyone so he would never come back. He is the type of egotistical cunt who thinks he is king dick of the world, and that everything evolves around himself.

At times he can show he can be ok, and caring, but for the most part, he is just an arrogant asshole who is not capable of thinking before he says the most stupidest shit know to man.. yet is always ridiculing and putting down someone else.

There has been times he has told people to get a life because they like Star Wars. Yet, he is a middle aged man obsessed with what to me, is one of the most pathetic hobbies I have ever heard someone say they have. When I first met him, he said to me that I would cream my pants when I found out what his hobby was... I thought maybe he was into making porno movies or collected valuable cars.. so imagine my disappointment that I did not even feel a tingle in my nut sacks when he said "I fly model airplanes". ... whoopdie fucking doo.

This cunt puts everyone, and everything down whenever someone mentions what they enjoy doing, or are into.. yet he doesn't get that his obsession with TOYS is absolutely fucking pathetic, and no one gives a flying fuck about it. Yet he will always crap on about what planes he has, saw, and worst of all, bores the shit, as well as annoy the living crap out of everyone, by showing endless videos of his or someone elses model planes. The sound of the piss weak engines in the dumb things now gives me a fucking migraine, anytime the dumb cunt starts showing them to someone, mistaking them for someone who gives a shit.

Whats even sadder, is he moved house, into a rental, only because it had a garage big enough to store his stupid toys... he didn't care about the house, just as long as there was room for them... oh wait, no, thats not the saddest part, the saddest thing he did was buy a stupid coffin looking trailer to transport these fucking stupid toys of his..... oh no wait, whats EVEN SADDER, is he actually managed to find other grown men who share this pathetic hobby, and wants to do nothing with his life every waking moment going and flying these dumb toys.... he gives more of a shit about his dumb obsession with kids toys then he does his own kids and missus.

He likes to hang shit on everyone, ranging from "get a job" to "look at the fucked up job he has compared to myself being so great that I quit every job I have after a week because it takes up too much time where I could be off playing with my zoom zooms".. and the sad fact is his son takes after him and refuses to work because King Dick Bald Cunt can't possibly set a good example for his own kids and be any kind of role model.

The stupid dick also never knows when to shut the fuck up. He believes his shit dont stink, and that what he says must be words of wisdom or the funniest shit anyone will ever hear... but in 99% of the case, the result is everyone thinking "what a stupid fucking moron"... he wouldn't support his missus when she was a bridesmaid, because he preferred to go flying his toys... he created multiple facebook status' about how he was so fucking bored in church during his missus fathers funeral... and loves to hang shit on his missus ex-husband because he's apparently the dumbest man alive, and king dick will post that to facebook, then delete it when messages flood in saying, "And what the fuck makes you think you are so much better? At least her ex husband provides and supports his family, unlike you who mentally abuse them because you are a sad pathetic, bitter little man who doesn't like to have to go and do something that eats into your time playing with your stupid fucking toys."

Jeff thinks that anything he doesn't like, the others must be stupid for liking, but will probably never comprehend that if people wanted to hear from a piece of shit, they would fart, as his opinion means jack shit to everybody.

It doesn't even matter if you say this to him, as the dumb cunt would just grow an ego that it's about him. If someone wrote a song about him saying what a dumb cunt he is, he would be so dumb he would be singing along with it. This is the type of guy that when he dies, I wont give two shits about it, and would not even bother to show up to his funeral because the cunt is not worth saying goodbye to. I know sooner or later I will get violent with him, because dickheads like him do not know when to shut the fuck up, and it will be the only way to get him to shut up.

This guy thinks he is clever, smart and witty. But I know for a fact his IQ is way below average, and the stork that brought him should be shot for smuggling dope. He is that kind of fuckwit that can not let anyone else enjoy the things they are into without him expressing his unwanted opinion that no one asked for. And it will give me the greatest pleasure I have had in years the day I smash the cunts face in and break his hands so he can not hold his baby toy controllers and stare at the sky like he is someone special because he flies childrens toys. In his mind, he thinks everyone else wants to fly toys around but can't afford to... what a load of crap... it's because in most cases no one wants to waste their time doing something so fucking pathetic... proof of how pathetic is really is, is the fact he has a frame around his cars number plate that says, "it's on days like this I would rather be flying"... what a sad, sad, sad, confused little cunt he really is.

A Day in the Life of Jeff

Wake up - No need to work, he quit last week. Time to go pack up some toys and take them to where the other losers with no life fly theirs.

Receive a call from missus- spend the rest of the day in the shits because he has to go do some family shit with her.

Abuse everyone because he would rather be out playing with his model zoom zooms with the other pathetic middle aged babies.

Be told off for being a wanker.

Go to bed and think "I don't work anymore, I will go flying tomorrow, how fucking cool am I !!!"


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Pro Wanka

Joined: 10 Jul 2005
Posts: 1558
Location: Hellbourne

PostPosted: Fri Feb 15, 2013 6:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Been over a year since I encountered someone I would call a complete and utter fuck with. But what do you know, two of them pop up in the one place!

A day in the life of the reality show of a man named Fag who is the head manger of a pawn shop in Australia.

Fag: Hi, my name is Fag. Don't give me any shit over my name, OK. I know it looks stupid being written on my name tag. Everyone asks me what it's short for? And I just tell them, not every man is blessed with being endowed.

I am an arrogant cunt, not to mention a complete and utter snob to my employees. I can't take a joke, and everything to me is about being as serious as I can be and hoping to die of bad blood pressure by the time I hit 40.

I was beat up a lot in high-school, and the girl I am with is not happy with our relationship because I can't get it up for her. It's because I am gay, but I refuse to come out of the closet in case my mother disowns me. This makes me very sexually frustrated so I pick on my employees and tell them they are doing a shit job, even tho I have not witnessed them doing their jobs!!! Nope, I leave that up to other managers so I can sit in my office all day on the phone and pretend I am doing something important for the company while I'm actually just talking to my mother about what sort of curtains we should put up in the den.

I then get annoyed when a customer wishes to speak to me, so I walk out of my office and past my employees with my nose in the air, like they all stink or something, and then I put on a fake smile and be really nice to customers by saying "What are you trying to do to me here?" like, it's actually going to be money out of my pocket if someone wants a $5 discount on a used item. I am such a tight ass, I know. Employees are told they can have a 20% discount on all items store-wide, but I only give them 3% off when I put their orders through the register. It's all about me ya know, doesn't matter who does what or how good they are, I don't care, I act as if it's all mine and I get final say on everything, because I am the boss here, and I will drive this company into liquidation even if it kills me.

P.S: I like dancing, and listening to shit music on repeat all day long. And anyone who who doesn't like it will just get the glistening shine of my snobby nose lifted in their general direction because I am king around here.

Dumb Bitch Hi, I'm Dumb Bitch, but you can just call me Dumb Bitch. I think I am very clever, but that is what makes me a dumb bitch! I work for Fab, but I have no manager role what-so-ever, but that doesn't stop me from thinking I am one and am allowed to tell everyone else who works with me what to do. See that guy over their putting stock out? I can't see what he is doing, because their is a big shelf in the way, but it won't stop me from screaming across the room "HEY, THERE IS STOCK TO GO OUT, DON'T STAND AROUND DOING NOTHING" because that is my job. I am the only one who believes everyone else should put shit out, besides, because I am so smart, I tell them to put things out, so they are distracted and I can sever every single customer that comes into the store.

I do this because I am a greedy bitch, and if I make over $5000 in sales a week, I get $500 extra in my pay-check! So all these other plebs around me need to recognize that I am the queen of sales around here, and that I am a machine! Thats right, a machine, I'm a machine, a machine.... I know saying that makes me sound retarded, but I scream it out every day when I reach my target "I'M A MACHINE, I'm A MACHINE, YEYYYYYYYY" and I pay myself on the back and make everyone else put shit away at the end of the day, because I am so exhausted from being a machine!

Another thing that makes me so smart is when all the stock has been put out, I can't tell everyone else to put things out, so I walk up to them when they are with a customer and tell them I am taking over because I said hello to them first and that makes them mine! Sometimes I didn't say hi first, but I tell them I did, and they walk away, most of the time... sometimes someone tells me to fuck off and take it up with a comity, especially that one cunt whom will remain nameless, i'll just call him, Maniac1075 who one day STOLE my customer that I said hi to, and went behind my back and served a customer who asked him if he could assist him with a sale of jewelry, he also did all the ground work to get the sale done, but it wasn't until I heard that the sale was for $1000 that I remember I said hi to him when he came in, so that was supposed to me my customer, but maniac1075 told me to get fucked and put me in my place that I had done nothing for that customer, and walked away to serve someone else... what a prick he is. I went and winged to the managers that he stole my customer, and the only reason they said he was right, it was in fact not my customer, was because I am so smart. So yeah, eat that maniac1075, I am smart! Thats why I argued with you infront of customers and almost broke into tears that you got the $1000 deal and I walked away for a $20 deal, all because i know it was the smarter thing to do. And yes, I got that $20, so you can keep your $1000 sale, because I am so smart! And you shouldn't give me shit about needing a calculator to work out what 753 - 3 = ? Because I am so smart, I wanted to make sure I was 100% correct. So *blows raspberry*

Last edited by Maniac1075 on Fri Feb 15, 2013 7:06 am; edited 3 times in total

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Pro Wanka

Joined: 10 Jul 2005
Posts: 1558
Location: Hellbourne

PostPosted: Fri Feb 15, 2013 6:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

2012 Fuckwit of the year winner.

I realized I never wrote this one in last year, so here it is now.

Paula Pissy Pants Hi, my name is Paula Pissy Pants. They call me that because I piss my pants alot, and have these stupid bottle cap glasses that make my bug eyes stare out and deflect men of all ages, shapes and sized. Put it this way, I could be on a Navel Ship filled with men who hadnt seen a woman in a decade. I would be butt naked in the shower with them all, bending over for the soap, and if I didn't give those guys a soft on, the rest would be puking, or throwing themselves overboard to escape the horrific site that lies inside my pissy pants.

I work for a company where people annoy people all day on phones. My job is to interview people for those roles of sitting on the phone and having cunts hang up on them.

My rules for this job are as follows.

1. Must be wearing the best cloths you possibly can. Even tho the customer can not see you, they can feel what you are wearing through your voice.

2. Don't argue with me when I mistaken you for someone else and tell you that you where late to the interview, as I saw you with my own eyes, even tho I was not actually within a 150 mile radios of the interview myself.

3. Don't swear. In-fact, don't even say you swear. Just saying you swear in general face to face conversation with friends means I will think you swear at customers on the phone.

4. Again, don't argue when I tell you that you where fired from the interview because you wore the wrong cloths, even tho you did, but I mistook you for that other guy. Just don't argue with me, ok. I have been doing this job for 15 years, and I know I am never wrong. 7 - 3 = Ching Chong Potato.

5. Working here means life or death. Bugging customers for feedback on a stupid coffee machine they brought 4 years ago is vital data that needs to be collected no matter the cost. I mean yeah, we could just slip a note into the machines and say "if you want to activate your warranty, fill this out, but we think it's better to bug people on the phone with a script that makes us sound like telemarketers and actually succeed in a call about 2% of the time. Don't argue with me, OK, it's the best way to do it!

6. Don't joke with me, I have no sense of humor. Anything you say will and can be used against you by my own judgment. And do not use idioms with me either, if you tell me it is raining cats and dogs outside, I will literally look out the window, and if I don't see felines and K9's falling from the sky everywhere, then that is a black mark against your name for telling fibs. I take my role very seriously, and I also own about 500 cats, and I love them all. At least they don't tell me i'm ugly and wouldn't stick their dick in me if I paid them a million dollars.

7. Don't ask questions during or after an interview. This is a big no, no with me. Everything you need to know was written in a hand out that I told you to read when you went home, you are just bugging me now for not reading the questions... even tho, "where is the toilet?" was not one of them, but it should have been, so that is a mark against you because you should have known it should have been in there and you are to blame for that.

8. Don't abuse me on the phone and tell me I am full of shit and a dumb cunt. I don't need you telling me what my parents have told me for years already. And don't tell me you hope I lose my job and the company gets liquidated because of how I ran things stupidly... that is what I report to people as "threatening me and my job"

9. Don't speak to me. Everyone around me is scary. I don't like being scared, my daddy scared me enough as a child... to the present day, I still live with him you know... he's been dead for 20 years, but he won't let me move out on my own.

10. don't put my photo up on it crashes the servers, and thats a no, no in my book. You will be fired for crashing other company's servers.

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