|
| View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
thunderhayes
I dont care about you, just about me
Joined: 25 Jul 2006
Posts: 447
Location: Smyrna, GA, USA
|
 Posted: Sat Aug 23, 2008 11:49 am Post subject: Some of the nastiest lyrics you'll never hear |
 |
|
So, I once got the nerve to write a dirty little song:
"Put My Dick (Where Your Mouth Is)"
If your left leg was Christmas
And your right leg was Thanksgiving
Could I spend some time
Between those holidays?
Put my dick -- where your clit is
Put my dick -- where your clit is
If you upper lip was Good Friday
And your lower lip was Easter Sunday
Could I spend some time in between
On that Saturday?
Put my dick -- where your mouth is
Put my dick -- where your mouth is
I don't know what's up with you
You've been acting pretty damn strangely
I know a way to fix you up
So come on in and
Put my dick -- inside of you
Take my dick -- and let it fill you up
Put my dick -- inside of you
Take my dick -- and let it fill you up
(Yeah!)
Put my dick inside of ---
YOU!
To think I wrote that when I was 17 scares the shit out of me, it was partly inspired by Givin The Dog A Bone and Let Me Put My Love Into You. I still haven't wrote a riff to it or anything, mainly because I put it in a notebook that I just found the other day. |
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
Maniac1075
Pro Wanka
Joined: 10 Jul 2005
Posts: 1558
Location: Hellbourne
|
| Posted: Sat Aug 23, 2008 6:41 pm Post subject: Re: Some of the nastiest lyrics you'll never hear |
|
|
Come on.... you can do dirtier then that.... let me check my archive of shit i've written before to help inspire you HAHAHA
| Quote: | A lady with 3 vagina's
Would fuck left right and center
3 times a slut
But 10 times better
I was told to stop farting
I said, "Which way did it run?"
I'm no gynecologist
But ill have a look at it for ya hon.
You can be a magician
And levitate into a ceiling fan!
Juvenile sweetheart
Eat my dick-snot-jam
Beasts of beauty
Fists of fury
Your ass smells like shit
but my dick don't sniff, it spits at da booty.
I lost my 2nd virginity in the USA
1st time was when I first got laid
I stuck 11 oysters inside her cunt
Then licked out 13, one by one.
I Fucked for a $1.99
Give me a discount and charge a dollar 69!
You'll never pass as a lady
But for a 1.99, come on and spray me
Fuck you for a dollar ninety nine
Fuck you for a dollar ninety nine
A slut you are & forever you will remain to be
So I offer thee a total sum of one dollar ninety three
When I first saw you
Standing in the street
High heel boots
Trying to be discreet
You said to me
"Hey kid does mommy know you're out this late?"
I pissed you off by replying
"Does mommy know what u do for a living, mate?"
Well the shit hit the fan
She told me to scram
She called for her old man
A pimp named dirty Sam
He said, "you like it, you buy,
But don't argue with the merchandise"
He said "9 dollars a piece
And you can fuck her ass till she screams"
I said, "No,
That price is too high
This bitch is only worth
A dollar ninety nine" |
| Quote: | They reckon I swear a little bit
Well cunt I really don't give a fucking shit
It's only a fucking word for fucks sake
What fucking cunt doesn't fucking swear mate
I fucking sarcastically will say I don't drink, smoke, or swear
But I'd by a pack of fucking smokes from a pub or any fucking where
Tell me not to say fuck, don't say shit, don't say cunt
Never told me not to blend them tho so fuck shit cunt
Suck dick bitch cunt faced fucking fuck fucker for fuck sakes
I'll fucking say what I wanna fucking well wanna fucking say
So fuck you dickhead fuck feature of a shitcunt
Cop a cunt load of that fuck ya fucking pissant little runt
Shit for brains can fuck me dead
Fucking see if I fucking care
Cunt fucker 5, 5 fuckers in bed
Fuck the fucking fuckers if I fucking swear and yell
Fuck that shit cunt dicklip fucked go play hide and go fuck yourself
Fuck you if don't like me fucking swearing see if I fucking care
I'll fucking say it if I fucking well want so fuck me fucking dead
Fuck em all fuck faced fucks of perfect fucking health
Fuck of for fuck sakes go play hide and go fuck yourself
Couldn't give a rats arse shit cunt
If you don't like me fucking swearing
Its only a fucking word you dumbarse cocksucker
So fuck right off and leave me be to fucking swear
Why the fuck did I write this shit
I don't fucking know
But the shit hits the fucking fan every fucking time
You fucking complain I fucking swear so fuck off cunt-faced cock grime
I've been fucked I've felt fucked
I'm seen fucking fucked up fucks
Fucking fuckers of a fucked up fuck for fucking fuckwit motherfucker
Fuck that cunt faced shit fucker of a cocklicking ballsucker
Piss fuck fuckers fucking five fucking fucked fucks
One pissed fucker fucked up the other fuck said what the fucking fuck
Fuck the shit cunt fuckers; fuck him fucking dead you slut
Fuck the fucking fucked up fucking fucks that think I swear too fucking much |
| Quote: | if a lactating woman uses a skipping rope
does she produce milk shakes?
and what if a man could lactate?
would it be from the same place
fluro green toxic puss
secret lesbian virgin nun
dynamite lighter fluid muck
phchic phycho killer son
whys it a hamburger ,wheres the ham
was the french frie made in france
hows it a relient, with only 3 wheels
whys it a choice without a glance
it dont make sense
where are we going what are we doing
what there to prove, whos it for
how will it end, has it bagun
what the hell are we waiting for
Get a computer.
Leave it on when you are not using it.
Turn it off when you are.
some quick advice
do not build little forts with used tampons
or recycled urine jars
How are an elephant and a plum the same?
They're both purple,
except for the elephant.
how high is up
how far is down
oviusly im not that intelligent |
| Quote: | THEY SAY IM A SMARTARSE, I SAY REALLY
I DIDNT KNOW I COULD SIT ON AN ICE CREAM
AND TELL YOU WHAT FLAVUR IT IS
THEY CALL ME A SMARTARSE, I SAY REALLY
I THOUGHT A SMART ARSE WAS SOME ONE
WHO CULD SIT ON A TELEPHONE AND CALL STD
THEY TELL ME IM A SMART ARSE AND I JUST SAY
WELL IF IM EVER BUT RAPED ILL KNOW WHO DID IT WAS GAY
THEY SAY IM A SMARTARSE AND I SAY ,YES
KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT CLOCKS
WHACK 2 HANDS AND A FACE ON THIS
CALL ME AN ARSEHOLE , ILL SAY WHERE DID I DROP YA
I WASNT ALWAYS LIKE THIS IT DID TAKE PRACTICE
IT TAKES ME AN HOUR AND A HALF TO WATCH 60 MINUTES
THE ONLYTHING I KNOW THAT RYMES WITH THAT IS CACTUS
I WAS NEVER ON TIME I WAS ALWAYS LATE
WASNT MY FAULT THE BELL WENT BEFORE I COULD MAKE IT
DO YOU RECKON IF YOU WORE A MAGNETIC CONDOM
I COULD ATTRACT LADYS WHO WHERE BRACES
THEY SAY SCREW YOU, I SAY IVE BEEN THERE MATE
MASTURBATION IS FUN, YOU SHOULD TRY IT SOMEDAY
TELL ME TO GO FUCK MYSELF ,I SAY NO THANKS
MAYBE ONE DAY YOU CAN SHOW ME HOW, I HERE ITS YOUR WAY
DID YOU EVER WONDER IF YA MUM BLEW YA DAD BEFORE SHE KISSED YOU GOODNIGHT?
IM A SMART ARSE AS YOU CAN SEE ALL RIGHT
ALMOST WORSE THEN STICKING 7 OYSTERS UP GRANDMAS BUM
WHEN HER PERIODS LATE I LICK OUT 11 OL CHUM
I COULD REALLY GO FOR A BLOW JOB ,I HAVENT GIVEN IN A WHILE
I LIT THE FUSE ON A TAMPON CAUSE IT WAS A STUCK UP CUNT
THAT STRING WAS ONLY SO CRABS COULD GO BUNJEE JUMP
AND HAVE A LITTLE FUN
LETS PLAY ARMY MEN ,ILL STAND AT ATTENTION
ILL KNOCK YOU DOWN ,IF YOU BLOW ME UP
OR ELSE WE'LL PLAY DOCTOR
ILL BE THE GYNOCOLIGIST
HOW ABOUT A 68'R ,AND YES THATS RIGHT
ITS WHERE YOU DO ME AND ILL OW YOU ONE
OR MAYBE WE COULD DO IT AUSSIE STYLE
SAME AS A FRENCH KISS ONLY YOU GO DOWN UNDER ON THIS
IF YOUR LEFT LEG WAS EASTER, AND YOUR RIGHT WAS CHRISTMAS
WOULD YOU MIND IF I CAME UP BETWEEN THE HOLIDAYS SOME TIME
ARE YOU TYRED YET SWEET HEART
AL DAY YOUVE BEEN RUNNING ROUND MY MIND
IF SEX SELLS THEN BUY ME A BEER
I JUST FUCKED YOUR SISTERS WHOCK
I AINT FRED FLINSTONE,
BUT ILL MAKE YOUR BED ROCK
FUCK ME DEAD IF IM LYING BUT ISNT YOUR NAME MUSHTACMALLIC
THEY ASK ME THE TIME, I SAY ITS DAY TIME
THEY SAY IM A SMART ALEX
BUT MY NAME IS ALEX
THE CALL ME A COCK HEAD
I SAY WHY ISNT MY HAIR WET
THEY CALL ME STUPID
I SAY YEAH FAIR
THE CALL ME A WANKAS
I TOTALLY AGREE
BUT WHO GIVES A FUCK WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT ME
YOU SAY DO I MIND
I SAY NO BABY SITTING PAYS MORE
YOU JUST BE YOURSELF
WHILE WE PLAY HORSE
THE SAY GIVE UP SMOKING
I SAY MY MOTHER TOLD ME NEVER TO QUIT
I GIVE THE SAME ADVICE TO WANKAS
STICK WITH IT
THEY ASK WHATS MY HOME ADDRES
I SAY I DONT WHERE THEM MISTER
THEY ASK MY IF IM OK
I SAY YEAH BUT BETTER IN MY SISTER
I SAY ,WHAT ARE YOU GONNAH DO FOR A FACE
WHEN OSAMA WANTS HIS ARSEHOLE BACK
IM CONSTRUCTIG MY OWN FUCKWIT AT HOME
CAN I BORROW SOME OF YOUR DNA |
these are that old i cant be fucked correcting my spelling errors
| Quote: | baby you know i love you
i would do anything for you
i would go to any extent
nothing i wouldnt do
id wipe your butt when you take a shit
and never wash my hand again
id bottle up the left overs in there
and cherish them forver
id pick your nose
and chew it for hours
jab my toubge up your bum
and lick out your bowls
id drink urine straight from your lips
id even fuck the dog if it it had your spit on it
id eat your used tampons for breakfast
lick your period clean cause your so precious
eat your crap for breakfast lunch and tea
with a knife and fork, oh yummy
id fuckin lick the lint out of your belly button
and roll around in your urine
cause thats the sick things we do
thats because im in love with you
thats the things we do
for love
yep im one suck fuck
a sick fuckin puppy allright
but that swhat we do for love
wed do anything for love
love ,love, love
aghh
the things we do for love |
I think I wrote that with a guy in the elektra chat one night.
_________________
 |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
thunderhayes
I dont care about you, just about me
Joined: 25 Jul 2006
Posts: 447
Location: Smyrna, GA, USA
|
| Posted: Sat Aug 23, 2008 7:49 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Well, it's dirty for me considering I usually don't think that dirty.
My mind wanders while listening to jokes, but that's about it. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
|
|
Home
FAQ
Memberlist
Usergroups
Register
Profile
Messages
Login/Out
