maniac1075

area51newmexico · Joined: 26 Nov 2005 Posts: 40 Location: Yorkshire, England

I love this!

GRIND METAL:
The protagonist arrives, screams something completely undecipherable for about 2 mintues and then leaves...

POWER /SYMPHONIC METAL:
The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the
dragon, saves the princess and they make love in an enchanted forest

TRASH METAL:
The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princes and
fucks her....... easy and quick (10 mins or less)

HEAVY METAL:
The protagonist arrives on a Harley Davidson, kills the dragon, drinks some beers and fucks the princess.

FOLK METAL:
The protagonist arrives with some friends playing accordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls asleep (from all the dancing) protagonist leaves without the princess

VIKING METAL:
The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his migthy
axe, cooks and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals the castle and burns the place before he leaves

DEATH METAL:
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and
kills her, then leaves

BLACK METAL:
The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it in the front of the castle.....then sodomizes the princess, drinks her blood in a ritual before killing her.....then he impales the deflowered princess too

GORE METAL:
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in the front of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her....then he fucks again her dead body, slashes her belly open and eats her guts, fucks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and fucks it for the last time

DOOM METAL:
The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks that he never could beat him, gets depressed and commits suicide....the dragon eats his body and the princess as well

PROGRESIVE METAL:
The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo for 26 minutes, the dragon kills himself out of boredom, the protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques learned in the last year of the conservatory... the princess escapes, and is now looking for the "HEAVY METAL" protagonist

GLAM METAL:
The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance and lets him enter, he steals the princess' make-up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink color

INDUSTRIAL METAL:
The protagonist arrives wearing greasy overcoat, makes an obscene gestures towards dragon, and gets escorted out of fairy tale land by security guards.
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Maniac1075 · Posted: Fri Jun 02, 2006 3:26 pm Post subject: Re: Metal Defintions

Interesting, tho I've never heard a song at all about a Dragon about from ol' Puffy the magic stoner got high by the see, then got slayed by cheech and chong so they could snatch his weed.

P.S: AC/DC is not metal.
Theyre considered as original 70's heavy metal, but these days it's hard rock compared to what metal has become.
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thunderhayes · Posted: Fri Sep 15, 2006 9:01 am Post subject:

oh man, that is fucking hillarious

Smiler · Joined: 10 Jul 2005 Posts: 41 Location: Oirish in the UK

Yeah that's brilliant,... love it so much I'm nicking it for our forum LOL
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Viking · Joined: 20 Jul 2005 Posts: 112 Location: NoRway

haha!